Counting with Clichés (a Poem)

1. When the fair maiden, Belle, laid eyes on the tall, dark, and handsome stranger, Beau, it was love at first sight.
2. The more they got to know each other, the more the happy couple realized they were two peas in a pod.
3. Although things were rough at times—leading to two separations—the third time was a charm.
4. Their passion for one another was the one constant to persist through all four seasons.
5. One day, when Belle found the scent of another woman on her man and questioned him, Beau pleaded the fifth.
6. Beau was lucky Belle chose to bury the hatchet and not plant him six feet under.
7. So grateful, Beau sailed all seven seas with Belle; they were in seventh heaven.
8. The stork delivered several babies, until they decided that eight was enough.
9. Although they went the whole nine yards for their kids, for every inch they gave, the kids demanded a mile.
10. Their eldest daughter, Fair, was a perfect ten, but more spoiled than their youngest child.
11. In every argument, Fair would hold out until the eleventh hour.
12. Eager to get Fair betrothed—and out of their hair—they invited suitors to meet and greet her with a dozen roses.
13. The thirteenth suitor, Jinx, finally agreed, but it proved to be an unlucky number.
14. He literally broke a leg, had to put in his two weeks’ notice at work, and called the engagement off.
15. The next thing they knew, Fair was fifteen and pregnant.
16. Needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), it wasn’t a very sweet sixteen for Fair.
17. To make matters worse, Fair’s seventeen weeks ultrasound revealed triplets.
18. Her parents fought with her like cats and dogs; it sounded like the War of Eighteen Twelve.
19. Fair wanted an abortion, but her parents refused; she cursed them for living in the nineteenth century.
20. Each of Fair’s brothers and sisters played twenty questions with her.
21. Fair was one girl who was not hoping to be forever twenty-one.
22. Then one day, Jinx showed up on her doorstep and proposed with a twenty-two karat diamond ring.
23. Suddenly, Fair felt not twice, but three times a lady.
24. The triplets made more work than there were hours in a day, yet Fair loved every minute of it.
25. Of course, everyone lived happily ever after.

Copyright © 2014 Chris McMullen