Counting with Clichés (a Poem)
- When the fair maiden, Belle, laid eyes on the tall, dark, and handsome stranger, Beau, it was love at first sight.
- The more they got to know each other, the more the happy couple realized they were two peas in a pod.
- Although things were rough at times—leading to two separations—the third time was a charm.
- Their passion for one another was the one constant to persist through all four seasons.
- One day, when Belle found the scent of another woman on her man and questioned him, Beau pleaded the fifth.
- Beau was lucky Belle chose to bury the hatchet and not plant him six feet under.
- So grateful, Beau sailed all seven seas with Belle; they were in seventh heaven.
- The stork delivered several babies, until they decided that eight was enough.
- Although they went the whole nine yards for their kids, for every inch they gave, the kids demanded a mile.
- Their eldest daughter, Fair, was a perfect ten, but more spoiled than their youngest child.
- In every argument, Fair would hold out until the eleventh hour.
- Eager to get Fair betrothed—and out of their hair—they invited suitors to meet and greet her with a dozen roses.
- The thirteenth suitor, Jinx, finally agreed, but it proved to be an unlucky number.
- He literally broke a leg, had to put in his two weeks’ notice at work, and called the engagement off.
- The next thing they knew, Fair was fifteen and pregnant.
- Needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), it wasn’t a very sweet sixteen for Fair.
- To make matters worse, Fair’s seventeen weeks ultrasound revealed triplets.
- Her parents fought with her like cats and dogs; it sounded like the War of Eighteen Twelve.
- Fair wanted an abortion, but her parents refused; she cursed them for living in the nineteenth century.
- Each of Fair’s brothers and sisters played twenty questions with her.
- Fair was one girl who was not hoping to be forever twenty-one.
- Then one day, Jinx showed up on her doorstep and proposed with a twenty-two karat diamond ring.
- Suddenly, Fair felt not twice, but three times a lady.
- The triplets made more work than there were hours in a day, yet Fair loved every minute of it.
- Of course, everyone lived happily ever after.
Copyright © 2014 Chris McMullen
I’m always amazed and entertained when you do these cliche pieces.
I always fear this idea will start to seem as used as a cliché. 🙂
Writing about cliches will never become cliche. 🙂
Wowzers. Amazing. You have knocked your socks off!! Hit the ball out the park with this one;)
Thank you. I was just hoping I wouldn’t strike out. 🙂
Three times a lady… hee hee
But who’s counting? 🙂
I believe it was Lionel Ritchie…once, twice, three times a lady…yep, it was him. 😉
Yeah. Not so cliché, but 23 was tougher than a two-dollar steak. 🙂 I’ll see if I can think of something better…
I think you did just fine, Chris. 🙂
Very clever!! 🙂 🙂
Thank you (from the bottom of my heart, of course). 🙂