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FUN WITH ENGLISH
Language can seem funny sometimes.
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Did you know that left can be right?
Left is right when right is dead wrong.
On what side of your body is your heart?
Left is right. Right is incorrect.
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Similarly, wrong can be right.
Wrong is sometimes correct.
What’s a synonym for injustice?
Wrong is a correct answer. Right is dead wrong.
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Even the word literal can’t always be taken literally.
Sometimes, we use literally to mean figuratively.
I’m hungry enough to eat an elephant.
Literally! (Just not in the literal sense…)
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I is speaking with poor grammar, right?
You can’t say, “I is.” It has to be, “I am.”
But check this out: I is a pronoun.
Find the mistake in that.
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Everything is something.
Nothing is something.
If A=C and B=C, then A=B, right?
So everything is nothing! (Not quite.)
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I can be here and there at the same time.
I think of myself as being here.
You think of me as being there.
So I am both here and there; it’s all relative.
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If you don’t have anything, you have naught.
The number zero is called the nought.
The opposite of having something, of course, is not.
It’s enough to tie your brain in a knot.
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Write happy, be happy. 🙂
Chris McMullen
Copyright © 2015
Chris McMullen, Author of A Detailed Guide to Self-Publishing with Amazon and Other Online Booksellers
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