Ever cheat on your… MUSE?


Writers: Ever cheat on your muse?

So all your talents see good use.

Bored of writing the same old thing,

You and a new muse have a fling.

It’s a dangerous game to play,

Get caught and you will rue the day.

But your new muse is so much fun,

And great stories come by the ton.

Until your old muse finds you out,

Then you endure your lover’s spout.

You recall the great times you shared,

With the first one who ever cared.

The two muses team together,

Make your words suffer bad weather.

A real bad case of writer’s block,

Spend all day staring at the clock.

Until a third muse comes along,

Whose ideas can do no wrong.

Your books have never done so well,

The writing’s like a magic spell.

But your old muses are upset;

So even they intend to get.

They sneak in and ruin your work;

Your third muse now thinks you’re a jerk.

Again your writing’s in a rut,

Contact with muses is sealed shut.

You’ve no idea what to do,

If only you could find a clue.

You write about your three muses,

And all of their crazy ruses.

This book becomes a bestseller.

You’re a really lucky feller.

Copyright © 2014 Chris McMullen

By chrismcmullen Posted in poem Tagged

Great Time to Be a Muse


Are you looking for a job?

Competing against the mob?

It’s a great time to be a muse.

You’re sure to be put to good use.

Writers everywhere need you.

On their knees and begging, too.

Please, oh please, tell me what to write.

I promise to stay up all night.

The job comes with some great perks.

It’s fine if you have some quirks.

You can come and go as you please.

Redo it from scratch. Be a tease.

You’ll be free and won’t need tools.

There are just two simple rules.

The first rule is you must inspire.

Next, don’t let the writer retire.

Copyright © 2014 Chris McMullen

Cat Muse

Cat Desk

The experience of writing has become even more interesting in a new way since we got our new kitten.

Just imagine a cat jumping onto the back of your desk chair, sitting behind your neck, while you’re typing a paragraph.

Or leaping onto your desk, planting herself right in front of the monitor, and swatting your cursor with her paw.

Or deciding that it would be cozy to take a nap on top of your mousepad, mouse, and hand.

In many ways, she provides inspiration like young children do.

She is energetic, highly curious, playful, and cute.

Cat Desk 2 (640x360)

Chris McMullen

Have you heard about Read Tuesday? It’s a Black Friday type of event, but specially for books.

Your Muse and Murphy’s Law

Muse Murphy Pic

Murphy and your muse are surely conspiring with one another. At least, that’s the case with my muse. The evidence is in.

I didn’t have any writing ideas all morning. One minute after driving away from the house, my muse gave me a great idea for a poem. (I’ll probably butcher the idea when I try to write the poem, but that’s beside the point.)

Fortunately, I have a pen in the car. (Learned from experience.) But not paper. (Perhaps I didn’t learn my lesson well enough.) But we writers are resourceful; I have plenty of napkins.

Now I just need to wait for a red light, traffic jam, funeral procession (now there’s a poor soul whose problem is much greater than my own), train, road construction, or one of the many delays that I ordinarily encounter virtually every time I drive anywhere.

But this wasn’t any ordinary drive. I wanted a red light. I just needed a few seconds to scribble down some words.

Green light. Green light. Green light. Ah, finally a red light. Where’s that napkin? Hey, it’s green already!

Meanwhile, my muse is feeding me more and more ideas for the poem. Then I get an idea for my blog. Then I get another idea for my blog. I know if I don’t write these down, it will anger my muse. She doesn’t like to repeat herself.

Where are all the red lights? How is it possible not to get a red light when you want one? I once drove 70 miles, getting every one of several lights red in two different cities. Oh, but that day I had been in a hurry.

I did manage to reach my destination and jot down some notes on a napkin. Then I went into the restaurant, only to think of yet another idea, with my napkin and pen back in the car.

Very funny, muse. We all know that muses have a great sense of humor. They really put the muse in amusement.

Of course, this isn’t the only evidence. We have storage rooms full of it.

Your muse and Murphy’s law: They’re definitely in on it together.

What has your muse done to you lately?

Chris McMullen, author of A Detailed Guide to Self-Publishing with Amazon and Other Online Booksellers, Vol. 1 (formatting/publishing) and Vol. 2 (packaging/marketing)