You might be a writer if…
- Some of your best ideas were originally written on napkins, Kleenex, or toilet paper.
- You wake up at three in the morning and sneak out of bed to spend a couple of hours alone with your computer.
- When people act like jerks, you appear to handle it maturely, then secretly fashion characters after them to exact your revenge.
- You pull over to the side of the road a few times each week to jot down ideas for your book.
- A family member interrupts your work to ask you a simple question and you turn into a screaming lunatic.
- The most fulfilling conversations you have are between you and your imaginary muse.
- When your lucky underwear really stinks, friends know you’ve been fortunate not to get any bad reviews for several weeks.
- You log into your publishing account while you’re eating lunch to check on your royalties.
- In the middle of the night, you wake up sweating with an irrational fear that some discovered your secret pen name.
- You routinely turn down invitations to parties in favor of working on your book.
Copyright © 2014 Chris McMullen
I live #5 every week. Think I have one:
“The phrase ‘Crap, I forgot to eat lunch!’ is uttered every evening at the behest of a roaring stomach.”
That’s a good one—hunger, thirst, and potty breaks are awful inconveniences, aren’t they?
This is why we need to work near a microwave, wear one of those beer hats (with drink of choice), and I got nothing to fix the potty break issue.
It would be cool to design the ultimate writing office.
If I could, I’d never leave that room.
Why do the best ideas always come at the most inopportune times. I think of the best sentence ever after I am snug in my bed and think I will remember it in the morning. I never do.
The subconscious is surely a practical joker. 🙂
#6….the fact that you put it into words makes me feel slightly less crazy. Thank you.
My muse made me write that. Sh. 🙂
I’m working on a list of these myself…stay tuned. It will make its way to the blog eventually.
I look forward to your list. 🙂
5 6 and 10…yep. And #1 while sitting at McDonalds 🙂
Happy meals for writers. 🙂
OMG, 3 & 6 are totally me.
You might be a writer. 🙂
Number 5. Nailed it. I’ll be at home on break, and my parents won’t say anything to me all day. Then, five minutes after I sit down to write, they start asking me stuff. Always.
Love potion No. 5 for writers. 🙂
Gosh, I guess, maybe, I just might be….a writer.
Could be. 🙂
Check…check…check…yippee! Finally a test I pass!
Remember to print out your certificate. 🙂
Love it! So true!
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's New (to me) Authors Blog and commented:
I thought this was a good summing up LOL 🙂
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Hi Chris, found you by way of the other Chris, Story Reading Ape~ Loved the list & can at least find one that fits us!! The underwear!! What’s that? Oh wait, my daughter just informed me we’ve had several bad reviews so I guess we’ve got no excuse for the nasty nickers!! LMAO Sharing now!! 😀
I hope you find a luckier pair. 🙂
My favourite is “Waaaargh! What happened to the last three hours? I should have been at the school gates five minutes ago!”
That’s a good one (I’ve done it more than once, too…). 🙂