Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night.
A tall, dark, and handsome knight was bored out of his mind.
Far, far away, a damsel was in distress.
The knight woke up and smelled the coffee.
The time had come to cut to the chase.
So he put the pedal to the metal.
He went the whole nine yards.
Then he went the extra mile.
He was careful not to burn any bridges along the way.
But he did break a leg.
It was nothing to sneeze at.
He took two cookies and saw the doctor in the morning.
Then he felt snug as a bug in a rug.
He turned nutty as a fruitcake and barked like a dog.
Unfortunately, he was barking up the wrong tree.
Fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.
Until he lost his shirt.
So he followed his nose.
He arrived just in the nick of time.
Better late than never.
The damsel was over a barrel.
A tiger was playing mouse with her.
The knight took the tiger by the tail.
Since he had a bone to pick with that tiger.
It was like playing with fire.
He cleaned the tiger’s clock.
Then he rubbed salt in the tiger’s wounds.
The tiger went stiff as a board and then bit the dust.
Next he buried the hatchet.
And the tiger was up a creek without a paddle.
When the knight and damsel met, it was love at first sight.
It was so romantic.
Because it takes two to tango and three’s a crowd.
They were like two peas in a pod.
He was dressed to the nines and she had money to burn.
So they tied the knot.
They even put the icing on the cake.
And they lived happily ever after.
They were on cloud nine.
Until they kicked the bucket.
Life goes on.
All’s well that ends well.
That’s a wrap.
The end.
chrismcmullen 
What a fun poem! Loved it.
Thanks. I feel like a kid in a candy store. 🙂
What a beautiful poem!! I loved the part about how life goes on.
Thank you. 🙂 After the fairy tale is over, it’s back to reality (where somehow they so easily live happily ever after).
I love this poem. It fits together so perfectly. Though, for a long time I thought the term was ‘petal to the metal’ which made no sense.
Thank you. I was afraid it would be so cliche. 🙂
Ionia and I wanted to ask if you’d be interested in contributing to The Community Storyboard. It would be author access, so you can post writing like this poetry when you wish.
If anything, we’d be honored if you would let us showcase this poem on the site. It’s fantastic.
No, the honor would be all mine. 🙂 Sure, whatever tickles your fancy.
I’ll send the invite and then you can post the poem. That way you get the comment notifications.
I appreciate that, but I’d prefer to sit back, relax, and let you the dirty work. 🙂 I’m following the community storyboard (though I’ve had a hard time keeping up lately), so I can still follow the action and get involved with comments.
I’ll post the poem then. Thanks.
No, thank you. I’m tickled pink. 🙂
Excellent Chris, I really enjoyed this.
Thank you. I felt like I was really going out on a limb here. 🙂
Might I suggest an alternate title of Once Upon a Cliché? lol, I loved this. So good. 🙂
That would hit the nail on the head. Thank you. 🙂
Ha! Love it.
Sent from an island in the sun
Thank you. 🙂 Did you sail off into the sunset? Hope you return fit as a fiddle.
I am working in it:)
How cliche in a fun sort of way 🙂
Thank you. Fun as a barrel of monkeys. 🙂
Double-like! LOL
LOL
Two times the fun. 🙂
Nice to read something fun !!! Thank you for posting. I am as happy as a pig in slop 😉
Thank you for reading. It makes me as happy as a clam. 🙂
That’s probably one of the few poems that I actually understood and really enjoyed! Thanks a lot 😀
Poems are not always as they seem; for me, they can be as tricky as a box of monkeys. 🙂 Thanks for reading & commenting.
Reads as easy as falling off a log.
Or riding a bike. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.
This is really clever and quirky! It made me smile. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 A smile is worth more than gold.
SOOO funny!!! congrats on making Freshly Pressed! Much deserved 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 I’m happy as can be.
Won’t even try to answer in cliche mode…the ones that you didn’t hit are here in the comments. Fun poem, I loved it!
Thank you. 🙂 It almost seems like there are more cliches than there are stars in the sky.
As they say, no bad.
Thanks. 🙂 I guess it cut the mustard.
:). Yep, it certainly seems so, but that’s just how things are. Not that I mean anything special by this, but you get the idea.
As they say, not bad.
Reblogged this on idofdav's Blog.
Thank you. 🙂 The more the merrier.
I enjoyed the trip but it extremely much to far, Perhaps if I only had a car.
But it was a Mustang and wild and unfed, I had filled it up using diesel instead of unlead. A trip undone stopped short and unfilled. Reading your work helped and I am thrilled.
That’s as cute as a button. 🙂
After reading your poetry I reread it to find the entrance line to the dreamland in disguise as a the daily round…The words “He was careful not to burn any bridges along the way \ But he did break a leg.\ It was nothing to sneeze at.” opened a door to me. I joyfully step in and now humbly welcome you to my story I eagerly look forward to your comments now and thak you in advance.
The pictures on your blog are worth a thousand words. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by.
What a wonderful pick me up! Love!!
To the top of the world. 🙂
I’ve got to hand it to you. Every one of these clichés is worn out and overused, and yet, as I read through your little tale, I almost felt like I was seeing them anew … at least in a very new light. Bravo! Great fun.
Thank you. It’s like they used to seem “older than the stars,” but now seem as if they “were born yesterday.” 🙂
I am a big fan of cliches and use them as sarcasm quite often lol. I wish I had thought of this! I fancy myself a poet and part time writer and this was fabulous. I would like to reblog it if you don’t mind. 🙂
Reblogged this on Vapor Kisses and commented:
I happened to come across this and got a real kick out of it. Excellent writing and use of those old cliches that we still hear all the time. Anyway, I really enjoyed it and thought I’d pass it along. Hope you enjoyed it too.
Thanks for the reblog. 🙂 Writing this, I was as happy as a kid on Christmas.
Lol….I know exactly what you mean
wow, that is amazing Chris. So creative and well written, had me grinning as I almost sung along till the end 🙂
congratulations on being freshly pressed.
Thank you. 🙂 Smiles make the world go round.
beautiful. thanks for sharing
You’re welcome, and thank you. 🙂 Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
🙂
This has made my day! So ….original?
Old as dirt, yet a new do. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.
So fun! Love it haha.
An excellent use of cliche, I’d say the shoe is on the other hand now. A stitch in thyme saves nine-day-old porridge, and a pie in the hand is worth two in the face.
Thank you. 🙂 Better than waiting for the other shoe to drop…
Lol!
Hope you don’t laugh till it hurts. 🙂
😀
This was a fun read. Quite funny actually.
Thank you. Almost a sort of “comedy of errors.” 🙂
I can imagine it made into a short skit. Or an animation. Mind if I share it around?
The more the merrier. 🙂
Reblogged this on Marsha in the D and commented:
Just my cup of tea….
I would like to reblog because this is just my cup of tea…
Thank you. 🙂 Tea is good for the soul.
super. nice and cynical but also with a laugh and some love.Like throwing away a gift but still having it and being forgiven
I appreciate that, like a gift that keeps on giving. 🙂
Yes, most truly!
Great! How about writing a short story now using only stereotypes?
Thanks. 🙂 Now that would be a horse of a different color.
Well, I tried. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. You might be sorry you started this. 🙂
Maybe so. Guess I should quit horsin’ around. 🙂
I’m going to bow out gracefully. I know when I’ve been licked. 😀
You have the grace of a swan and the skill of a blacksmith. 🙂 Sure you don’t want the last word?
She turned on her heel and delivered her parting shot: “Over and out.” 🙂
I don’t normally enjoy stuff like this, but this was just too clever not to enjoy!
Thank you. 🙂 I don’t normally write this kind of stuff, but the pieces just sort of fell in place.
Don’t you just love it when it happens like that?!
I love it like oxygen. 🙂
I’m going to jump on the bandwagon and say that I loved this to death. Is it okay if I milk it for what it’s worth and show it to my middle school students?
Thank you. 🙂 Sure, and you won’t even have to pay a king’s ransom. The prospect of more readers makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I have no cliché to offer, only my appreciation!
That’s just what the doctor ordered. 🙂 Plus, “the best things in life are free.”
Tremendously fun to read, was happy to see it in my pressed section.
Thank you. It must have been the luck of the Irish that got it pressed. 🙂
Amazing how you managed to squeeze out a story using clichés, and a clichéd sort of story at that. Well done. I’m okay with the occasional. All those fairy stories I read as a kid began with once upon a time. Now I tell my grandchildren stories about themselves that begin with once upon a time. They expect it and I can’t get started without it.
Thank you. 🙂 Sort of like squeezing the juice out a turnip. (I make up stories for my daughter every night – without the cliches – but I do begin with “once upon a time,” just as my family did telling classic fairy tales to me.)
*LOL* Sounds like you were bored but felt you needed to write something. If that’s true your very very talented.
Actually, this was an itch that I’ve been dying to scratch for a few weeks. (I tend to have the opposite problem: too many ideas, but not enough time.) Thank you for the kind words. 🙂
Wow, this is funny! My nanny used to talk like this to an extent. Sure hope I don’t write using so many of these clichés, but I’m sure I have at some point. Will edit closely. Thanks Chris. Clever!
Thank you. 🙂 “The pen is mightier than the sword,” unless perhaps it rusts from writing too many cliches.
You are funny and clever!
This should be illustrated and submitted as a child’s book. It’s adorable. A life-drawn fable! Kudos and cheers. 😉
Thank you. 🙂 After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.
Cute and clever.
Thanks, that hits the spot. 🙂
loved this! what a great use of sayings, phrases, cliches. very creative. 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 I tried to give them a new lease on life.
Brilliant. And I agree with coffeegrounded–get it illustrated and published. Would be a very entertaining read. 😉
Thanks. 🙂 That’s food for thought.
Nice! I agree with coffeegrounded; it should be illustrated.
Thanks. 🙂 You should never say never, so I won’t.
The epitemy of ‘cliche’. But it made me smile so a job well done.
A smile is worth a million bucks. 🙂 Thank you.
In another life, The Geeky Gardener teaches journalism. Mind if I use your ditty with my students?
Sharing this with students would be better than a pat on the back. 🙂 Thank you.
Absolutely the best poem I’ve read since… God knows when..!! 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 I guess we’ll just let God sort it out for us.
This is so fabulous and cute and… I love it! 🙂
That’s music to my ears. Thank you. 🙂
That was better than who’d a thought it!
Loved it!
Whoda thunk it? Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
This was great! It brought a smile to my face and made me realize how many little expressions like that we have. Your poem was really fantastic. Thanks for the fun read 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 It almost seems like there are more such sayings than there are grains of sand; I find myself tripping over them all the time.
Reblogged this on Through the classroom and commented:
Wish I thought of it!
Early bird gets the worm. 🙂 Thank you for sharing it.
This gave me a great idea for an activity to use in my Creative Writing class. Thanks!
I’m glad to be of service. 🙂 I hope everything pans out.
Huge fan of your style! Loved it! Congrats. Blessings.
Thank you. 🙂 Your words make me warm and fuzzy inside.
“The knight woke up and smelled the coffee.” This made me burst into laughter. Only if authors who write teen romances took away from this.
*Sigh*
Thanks for the great read!
You’re welcome. 🙂 Maybe they are romancing the stone instead of the teen…?
LOL! I saw that movie on TV recently. I don’t know why but it made me feel uncomfortable, like all the teen romance novels/movies.
Inspired!
That’s music to my ears. 🙂
This is awesome. Bravo!
Thank you. 🙂 Here is a virtual penny for your thoughts.
This is so funny, and so great! I always try to avoid cliches in my writing. But you made them into your own, and ran with it. This is so creative, and so entertaining. Great job!
Thank you. 🙂 You can run from the cliches, but you can’t hide from them. So I tried to make them as good as new…
Haha! Love that
🙂
Your picture of a smiley face is worth a thousand words. 🙂
Reading your replies to comments was just as much fun as the original post!
I had to do something with the cliches that weren’t “the pick of the litter.” Plus, the comment cliches “let the fun times roll.” 🙂 Thank you.
Reblogged this on The Shrub and the Oak.
Thank you for helping to spread the word (and I didn’t even need to whisper, “Psst! Pass it along”). 🙂
Reblogged this on fireflysanctuary and commented:
LOL! Once Upon a Cliché.
Thank you. 🙂 This brought a smile to my lips.
great – thanks for blogging it! made my day!
And you didn’t even have to say the “Go ahead” part. 🙂
wow… enjoyed reading it !!!
Thank you. 🙂 “Enjoy it to the fullest.”
This is absolutely brilliant! Kudos sir, kudos.
Not sure if it was as clever as a fox, but it’s very kind of you to say so. 🙂
Looks like you gave this writing 110%.
It was the least I could do. 🙂
It’s amazing how naturally this all flowed together! I enjoyed reading it. Made me smile. 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 I just tried to “go with the flow.”
Really fun to read, great job! I tip my hat to you.
To that I can only take a bow. 🙂
Thank you… 😊
I suppose a simple, “You’re welcome,” will have to do. 🙂
Reblogged this on dliwcanis.
Thank you for sharing. 🙂 That makes double the pleasure.
well reading this definitely made my day. you should write more on this, after all…. the show must go on!
Thank you. 🙂 I am planning to beat the dead horse.
Great post! Your replies to comments are also very clever 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 At first the comments were as simple as 123, but it’s starting to get harder than it looks, and soon I will need to pull a Houdini to do it without repeating myself.
Pingback: Once Upon a Time (A Poem of Cliches) | ReadTuesday
That was great! 🙂
Thank you. 🙂 Makes me feel happy as a lark.
Absolutely hilarious…and divine. 😀
Thank you. 🙂 It’s not often I see “hilarious” and “divine” used in the same short sentence. The cliche says that life without God would be meaningless; I wonder if it would also be humor-less…
There’s a first time for everything. My first time too. 😀 😀 😀 It’s something like laughing and crying at the same time. 💡
Meaningless and humorless!