The Squeaky Wheel Poem (+ Marketing Afterword)

Squeaky Pic

As the horses galloped along,

The wheels went ‘round and ‘round,

And the wagon rolled steadily onward.

 

When the left front wheel squeaked,

The driver halted the horses,

And pampered the wheel with oil.

 

The horses galloped along again,

The wagon rolled forward again,

And the driver enjoyed the ride.

 

The left front wheel squeaked again,

Everything came to a stop again,

And the wheel was pampered some more.

 

The other wheels became jealous;

They worked just as hard.

Where was the reward for not complaining?

 

So the right front wheel began to wobble,

Demanding attention of its own,

And the driver tightened its screws.

 

A competition ensued:

The left front wheel squeaked,

While the right front wheel wobbled.

 

Soon, the right front wheel wobbled

More than the left front wheel squeaked.

It had succeeded in hogging all the attention.

 

Until one time the driver did something new:

He replaced the right front wheel with a spare wheel.

The old wheel was abandoned on the wayside.

 

At first the left front wheel smiled smugly.

Then when it was time to squeak again,

It had second thoughts about it.

 

But what about those poor rear wheels,

Who worked no less hard than the front wheel,

Yet demanded and received no attention at all?

 

Marketing Afterword

At first, it kind of seems unfair, doesn’t it?

Ideally, if you are shopping for a product, you would like for them all to be equally visible, with the better product priced a bit more and the worse product priced a bit worse. Then you would decide what you are willing to pay versus what quality you would like. But that’s not the way it works, is it?

You can’t just make an excellent product at a good price and expect everyone to show up at your warehouse the next day. How do people know that you have a product? How do people know that the product is excellent? How do people know that the price is good? They won’t just by being psychic.

The first step is to make the product visible. Every company wants their product in stores where their target audience shops. They all want their products to stand out – put it on the endcap, in the advertisement, etc. Of course, they can’t all be equally visible. Just getting into the store is a big step.

The second step lies in the packaging. The packaging should first clearly show the customer what kind of product it is, then when the customer finds the product, the packaging should stand out from other products like it. It should look professional. It will describe itself in a way that helps to sell it.

Another step is getting people to try the product. If they like it, they may recommend it to others. This begins with a focus group when it’s being produced. Then you need to sell it to stores, get people or businesses to review it, and give away samples or coupons to help get initial customers.

In the end, the more expensive product isn’t necessarily the best product. Packaging and marketing are involved in the equation, too. The perception may be more important than the actual quality, to an extent.

Here is a concept that relates to the squeaky wheel: A company that has an excellent product should, theoretically, invest more time, effort, and money into the marketing. (It doesn’t always work out that way, but the notion does affect purchasing decisions.)

Companies are trying to help their target audience find their products. This is the idea behind marketing.

The company that doesn’t squeak can still sell products, but in this case it’s relying strongly on packaging and referrals.

The less visible the product (like many books), the more important the referrals and marketing.

The company that squeaks is likely to get more initial attention. Unless, of course, it squeaks so much that potential customers tune it out (like tweeting several times every day, “Please buy my product”).

Let me cast this in a different form specifically for authors. You’re not really just a writer. You’re not really a salesman either. People aren’t buying your book for the paper and ink. They’re buying your book for the ideas. You’re selling the ideas (story, entertainment, information, etc.).

The ideas that you’re selling are not just in your book. Squeak your ideas to help sell the ideas in your book. For example, provide related content outside of your book (e.g. in articles), preferably where it will be visible to your target audience. Then your book is simply a way for the audience to find more ideas like it.

If the wheel squeaks and the driver finds a quarter next to the wheel every time it squeaks, the driver is likely to look for a store where he can buy more wheels like that one. You don’t want to give away quarters, but you do want to provide some valuable content to help your target audience find your product.

Chris McMullen, self-published author of A Detailed Guide to Self-Publishing with Amazon and Other Online Booksellers

Be a Knight in Shining Armor

Knight Pic

If you meet people who are down, help lift them up.

If meet someone who could use a friend, be one.

If you see someone in need, offer your assistance.

If you simply smile, it will spread goodness throughout the land.

 

If a friend can use your trust, keep it.

If a friend needs your support, give it.

If a friend reaches out to you, reach back.

If you are a good friend, you will become a legend.

 

If you use a good product, share it with others.

If you watch a good movie, tell a friend.

If you read a good book, review it and refer it.

If you spread goodness, you will rid the land of evil.

 

If you give an inch, someone will take a mile.

If you do a good deed, you may feel like it was punished.

If you make any investment, it carries some risk.

If you invest in a better world, you may discover treasure.

 

If you do not want to wear shining armor, realize that it is optional.

If you do not want to be Prince Charming, be Princess Charming.

If you do not want to be famous, remain anonymous.

If the prophecies did not destine you for greatness, you can still be a hero.

A WordPress Wish to You

All you great WordPress bloggers out there:

If you haven’t already been Freshly Pressed,

I hope your chance comes soon. 🙂

I see many very deserving posts everyday

(In my humble little opinion),

And enjoy reading them.

May you continue to make WordPress

A most wonderful blogging community.

Once Upon a Time

Cliches

Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night.

A tall, dark, and handsome knight was bored out of his mind.

Far, far away, a damsel was in distress.

The knight woke up and smelled the coffee.

The time had come to cut to the chase.

So he put the pedal to the metal.

He went the whole nine yards.

Then he went the extra mile.

He was careful not to burn any bridges along the way.

But he did break a leg.

It was nothing to sneeze at.

He took two cookies and saw the doctor in the morning.

Then he felt snug as a bug in a rug.

He turned nutty as a fruitcake and barked like a dog.

Unfortunately, he was barking up the wrong tree.

Fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.

Until he lost his shirt.

So he followed his nose.

He arrived just in the nick of time.

Better late than never.

The damsel was over a barrel.

A tiger was playing mouse with her.

The knight took the tiger by the tail.

Since he had a bone to pick with that tiger.

It was like playing with fire.

He cleaned the tiger’s clock.

Then he rubbed salt in the tiger’s wounds.

The tiger went stiff as a board and then bit the dust.

Next he buried the hatchet.

And the tiger was up a creek without a paddle.

When the knight and damsel met, it was love at first sight.

It was so romantic.

Because it takes two to tango and three’s a crowd.

They were like two peas in a pod.

He was dressed to the nines and she had money to burn.

So they tied the knot.

They even put the icing on the cake.

And they lived happily ever after.

They were on cloud nine.

Until they kicked the bucket.

Life goes on.

All’s well that ends well.

That’s a wrap.

The end.

Prepositions: To End With

What’s this silly rule for?

We can break it if we want to.

It’s something you can do without.

Especially, when it sounds odd to get around.

 

Would you ask, “Up is what?” instead of “What’s up?”

Or, “Over, come,” rather than, “Come over”?

Or, “I below am,” over, “I am below?”

Or, “Off get!” versus, “Get off!”

 

Well, we could instead completely change the sentence over…

But why? What’s the original really suffering from?

Will it really set your work above?

Enough; I’m finally through.

Thank You, Reviewers

Thank You Pic

Thank you, Readers

For taking the time to review books,

To express what you enjoyed,

To suggest what could be better.

 

Thank you, Shoppers

For reading customer book reviews,

For trying to sort out which comments are helpful,

For comparing feedback to the Look Inside.

 

Thank you, Customers

For not being afraid to share your feedback,

Despite the few who don’t handle criticism well,

For realizing that most authors aren’t this way.

 

Thank you, Bloggers

For investing so much time to read many books,

For posting book reviews on your blogs,

For helping out so many authors.

 

Thank you, Authors

For not reviewing your own books,

For not blasting the competition,

For not lashing out at reviewers.

 

Thank you, Everyone

Who has taken time to post a review,

Who hasn’t abused the review guidelines,

Who supports the wonderful world of books.

 

We need you,

Readers, Customers, Bloggers, Reviewers.

We would be nowhere without you.

Thank you so much.

 

Chris McMullen

Experiencing the Genres (A Poem for Writers)

Genres Pic

It’s a bad romance—

Between the art and writer:

Passion fuels writing,

While distressing the author.

 

It’s sheer fantasy;

A million copies will sell.

Until it goes live…

True? False? Nobody can tell.

 

A killer suspense:

Will the book succeed or fail?

Check those sales reports;

The numbers will tell the tail.

 

It’s a mystery:

Who posted that book review?

To figure it out,

One must study every clue.

Cre8ively Writ10

Looking 4 a different kind of cre8ive poem

2 read on a Friday night while stuck @ home?

Maybe this 1 will @tract your @10tion

or /haps it will only cause you frustr8ion!

This won’t suit every1, so feel free 2 write your own.

1 can only please a %age of the readers; others will groan.

12s will be gr8ful 4 the glossary they can find below.

After th@ is a quiz 4 those who don’t want the fun 2 go.

Glossary:

cre8ive(ly) = creative(ly)

writ10 = written

@tract = attract

@10tion = attention

/haps = perhaps

frustr8ion = frustration

every1 = everyone

%age = percentage

12s = dozens

gr8ful = grateful

th@ = that

Vocabulary Quiz:

ca9

*dom

:ial

“8ion

,&er

Quiz Answers:

canine

stardom

colonial

quotation

commander

Chris McMullen, author of the fictional dialog, Why Do We Have to Go to School?

(P“u‘n,c;t.u?a!t-i–o”n)

Go go go go, slow, v-e-r-y s-l-o-w, slow, fastfastfast; break away, slow, pause, stop. Go go go (aside) go go go – tangent – go go go stop.

State. Exclaim! SHOUT! whisper. Question? “Quote, ‘Quote within unquote,’ unquote,” end.

justletthewordsflow